


Out of the Flames

by ohmytheon



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mustang's Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:23:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4988260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmytheon/pseuds/ohmytheon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an investigation goes far south and a member of the team's life is placed in serious danger, Roy Mustang must confront the possibility of not being able to save a subordinate's life, all the while Jean Havoc and Riza Hawkeye struggle with the fact that they cannot do a single thing for the most important woman in their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rescue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, well, this got way out of hand. It was meant to be a one-shot, but then my brain went into like ten different directions, so I decided to divide this into two parts. It made more sense. This was supposed to be in Havoc’s POV entirely, but I could not for the life of me get into to work and I’m too fond of writing about Havolina from other people’s POVs, especially from someone that might not like it. This first part is from Roy’s perspective while the second part is from Havoc’s. Think of part one as rescue and the second part as recovery. Prepare for some angst – because I didn’t think Havoc alone freaking out over a hurt Rebecca was enough.

It started as a routine investigation.

It became the most harrowing few hours of life experienced by the normally stalwart crew.

When the team was dispatched to check out an abandoned factory hiding possible dissidents from Creta, Roy hadn’t thought much of it. A year into being back in Central after stationed in Ishval for the reconstruction had worn his sharp mind into even more jagged edges. Being suspicious of something kind of became dull after the threat of being stabbed in the dark was the norm for so long. When it came to enemies, Amestris certainly didn’t lack, even after the change in leadership and the end of the secret machinations of Father and the Homunculus, so it was of little surprise whenever something like this came up.

Perhaps it was below the work of a fully fledged General, but Roy had liked to make a show of the fact that he was not one of those superior officers that stayed in the office and let the men and women below him put their lives on the line and work day in and day out. He was not just about issuing commands from safety. Roy would be out on the field until it was no longer probable. After all, even though King Bradley had been a homunculus in the end, he’d done right by occasionally joining missions. It put off the right air.

Most importantly though, while making an appearance with the public was good, General Mustang still went on assignments with his team so that he could observe them in the field, so that he could protect them. The covert missions where he’d been forced to stay in his office and communicate with his subordinates via telephone had always driven him mad, in fear that he might lose them if he wasn’t with them. They’d had their scares through the years often enough. Not that his team wasn’t perfectly capable of handling things on their own – they most certainly were – but it gave him peace of mind to see things for himself.

Plus, people were on the tips of their toes and more willing to talk when he was around. His rank made people jitterier than they liked to admit and it worked to his advantage.

Not so much with First Lieutenant Rebecca Catalina, but then again, she wasn’t a part of his normal retinue. The information about the warehouse had come from her. She worked with the Fuhrer’s security detail personally and had been the one to start tracking down threats made on the Fuhrer’s life. Because it had been her work and dedication that found the lead, Grumman had insisted that she accompany Roy’s team to investigate. It made sense and it wasn’t like he wasn’t familiar with her or her solid work in the field, but that didn’t make him any less…disgruntled on the matter.

She may have been Riza’s best friend and even Havoc’s more or less girlfriend, but that didn’t mean that she and Roy were friends. On the contrary, his relationship with Catalina was perhaps even more antagonistic than his relationship with Edward Elric these days.

Upon their arrival, it was obvious that Catalina’s intel was correct. There was definitely something going on, but the only way to figure out exactly what was if they somehow got inside. They managed that, splitting into three teams, but there was only so much sneaking around they could do. Once they were in position, Roy would be able to use his alchemy to round everyone up so that they could be arrested. It was simple really. Put the snipers in place with everyone else close to the exits and all Roy had to do was figuratively snap his fingers.

What they hadn’t counted on was the use of alchemy against them, specifically alchemy laced traps that had a distinct alkhestry feel to them. Such long distance use of alchemy was still relatively unheard of in Amestris, which was why no one had considered it.

A sudden explosion to the south of the building caused Roy to jerk his head in the direction, hand raised and at the ready, and mutter a single, “Shit.” That had been where Catalina, Breda, and Havoc had gone. Without hesitation, Roy turned on his heels and bolted in that direction as gunfire began to clatter throughout the factory, ignoring Riza’s protests. Surprise was no longer on their side and if they didn’t shut this down right now, an all out gunfight was going to turn out and, judging from the weapons that they’d seen being smuggled in, that was something they couldn’t afford to get into.

As he ran through the hallway towards where the explosion had gone off, Roy kept picturing Havoc lying face first on the ground in a puddle, unconscious and bleeding out, and it made panic gnaw at the edges of his mind. He couldn’t let that happen – not again. He’d be damned before he allowed anyone on his team get hurt like that, least of all a man that had already gone through nearly dying. Maybe it made him think less clearly. He didn’t care. He could only think about protecting the soldiers under his command.

When three men ran out of a side room in front of them, guns drawn, Roy didn’t even give Riza time to shoot before he rubbed his fingers together, creating a spark, and fire exploded behind the men, knocking them out of the way. He didn’t stop running either, choosing to dart through the smoke and leap over some debris. She followed him wordlessly. There was no time to stop, no time to reflect on loss of life, no time to consider damage, not when he had men in the line of fire.

He rounded a corner, but was suddenly jerked back by the collar of his jacket right before a bullet smacked into the spot that he’d just been standing in front of. Roy blinked at the bullet hole. If Riza hadn’t pulled him back in time, he would’ve been shot right in the chest.

Riza heaved a breath behind him and let go of his collar. “I kept shouting to warn you, sir. They have a sniper in position on the walkway.”

Roy cursed under his breath. His men were on the other side, but they needed to cross this area if they were going to be of any help. He could hear someone shouting – it sounded like Fuery – and cursed again. “Do you have a shot?”

“Not without giving them an opening to shoot me first.”

That wasn’t an option. He trusted her aim and speed, but they were at a disadvantage. No doubt the sniper was patient, no doubt just waiting for them to walk out and step into their crosshairs. They would have to try another route, something they hadn’t done in years and only once before. He had to rely on her for sight. “Where is he located?”

“At your seven o’clock, around twenty meters away, third floor walkway.”

Roy threw his left hand to the side and twisted his fingers again. A line of fire spiraled towards the area that Riza had directed, exploding once it reached its destination. He heard a crash of metal as the fire made purchase. If there had been anyone near where the fire had hit, they wouldn’t be there any longer. Without waiting, Roy rounded the corner again and darted through the room. No bullets were hurled their way. Indeed, the walkway had been shattered, broken metal fragments and spots of fire everywhere.

When they finally reached the others, Roy threw himself behind the same metal table where Havoc was currently pinned down. “Nice of you to join the fun, sir!” Havoc greeted in an almost cheerful manner. “But I believe you are supposed to go in the opposite direction of gunfire, if I’m correct. Isn’t that part of your job, Captain?”

“He wouldn’t listen,” Riza deadpanned.

Havoc snorted and then popped up to shoot twice. When he ducked back down, bullets sailing right where his head had been seconds ago, he leaned back against the table. “Breda and Fuery managed to make it out, from what I could see. Rebecca is with Falman behind those barrels. He was grazed with a bullet in the leg, but I don’t think it was a direct hit.” He and Riza moved simultaneously to return fire, the same sniper trained precision in their movements. “I wouldn’t suggest using your alchemy though. Too many explosives lying around.”

“I could create a wall to use as cover,” Roy said, “but I’m not so good with distances when it comes to that. I’d only be able to cover us.”

“We have to get Rebecca and Falman,” Havoc said quickly. “I’m not leaving without–”

“I’m not suggesting we leave anyone behind, Lieutenant,” Roy interrupted, sounding steady considering the fact that they were getting shot at. Bullets pinged off the metal table and burst into the wall behind them. He almost growled at the noises disrupting his thoughts. “It could give us a better angle to return fire.”

Nodding his head, Havoc replied, “That could–”

“They’ve got a damn grenade launcher!” Catalina shouted from her position.

“Shit!” Roy pressed his hands together and slapped his palms on the ground. Blue light snapped to life in the air as a stone wall erupted in front of them. It just barely managed to cover them when an explosive hit it. For the most part, it stayed intact, but stone still exploded around them. Roy threw his body over Riza before she could even think to cover him, knowing full well that he’d be given an earful after all this was said and done. As the smoke cleared and dust settled around them, he coughed as he pulled away from her. “That was too close.”

“Rebecca!” Havoc shouted, looking like he was close to leaping out in the open. “Rebecca, are you–?”

“Don’t you– don’t you dare leave your cover!” Catalina yelled in between sputters. “We’re okay!”

A suspicious groaning sound above them caused Roy’s eyes to examine the area. The grenade had done a lot of damage. The few explosions he’d caused earlier had done some work too. If their attackers decided to launch another grenade, he wasn’t so sure that the infrastructure would be able to handle it. Already the roof was partially caved in and metal beams were wavering. Fire and debris littered the place. Roy did not want to be inside when things finally came crashing down.

“We need to get out of here!” Roy shouted.

“No shit!” Catalina responded.

Roy ignored her smartass remark. “On my signal, run to the nearest exit on the right!”

“Are you kidding?” she yelled back over the sound of more gunfire. “What signal?”

There was no need or time for him to explain that to her. For someone that liked to hide behind schemes and manipulations, Roy could be a fairly blunt and obvious man when it was necessary. He flicked his wrist and twisted his fingers to direct flames, smaller and more precise, with fewer explosions and more heat. They weaved around the place, creating a maze of flames that acted as both walls and guidance. _That_ was his signal.

Roy, Havoc, and Riza all jumped to their feet and began to run through the paths that the flames created. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Catalina and Falman following them. Havoc instinctively slowed down so that the two of them could catch up and then he took the rear, shooting at people trying to follow them. There was a hissing sound and then a small pop before an explosion rattled behind them, letting Roy know that one of his flames had accidentally hit an explosive. He winced, but it did end any gunfire following them.

Once they were finally outside of the building, Roy took a wheezing breath. He may not have been out of shape, but running through smoke was never any fun. He turned to make sure that the rest of his team was on his heels. Riza came out first, debris in her hair and dust covering her jacket. She had an arm under Falman, who was limping due to the bullet wound on his leg, and helped him walk over to where Breda and Fuery were standing guard and watching with wide eyes.

Crashing noises caught his attention and Roy snapped his eyes up to see the roof finally buckling from all the destruction. Words snagged in his throat as he stepped forward, eyes locked on the opening where he could still see Havoc and Catalina inside the building.

In that exact moment, Catalina saw the same thing that Roy did. It happened so fast, but Roy watched in perfect detail the way her brown eyes locked onto the collapsing debris and an alarmed yet determined expression swept across her face. “Jean!” She leaped forward and threw her body into the taller Lieutenant as hard as she could, knocking him out of the building just as a pile of debris collapsed where he’d been standing.

A cloud of dust and smoke burst around them, blocking Roy’s vision of the factory. As the wind cleared the area, Roy spotted Havoc’s figure on the ground, hacking roughly and slowly pushing himself up. His heart plummeted when he did not see anyone else.

“Shit, Rebecca,” Havoc grumbled. When he rolled over though, he froze on the spot and stared at the wall of distorted metal from the collapsed building. His face was already chalky from the dust, but it paled even further as he realized what Roy had already taken note of.

Catalina wasn’t with him. She had pushed Havoc out of the way of the falling rubble and had become trapped inside the building in the process. She had sacrificed herself for him without any thought for herself.

The moment it clicked for Havoc, he scrambled to his feet, stumbling as he attempted to get up and run towards the collapsed factory at the same time. Roy was on him in an instant, wrapping his arms around Havoc to hold him back. It wasn’t an easy task. Havoc was taller than him and, as Roy just now found out, very much stronger, especially as he struggled to break free and fight back, surging with the adrenaline of the situation.

“Rebecca! _Rebecca_!” Havoc screamed, his voice strained and cracking. He managed to elbow Roy right in the face, causing him to hiss in pain, but Roy still didn’t loosen his grip. “Get the hell off me! Rebecca! Goddamnit, Mustang, let go of me! Rebecca is in there! She’s trapped! REBECCA!”

“You can’t go in there!” Roy snapped back, digging his feet into the ground and pulling back with all his strength. The two of them staggered forward as Havoc managed to drag them forward. “Havoc, you can’t! Stop! It’s too unstable!”

“I don’t give a damn if it’s unstable!” Havoc yelled back, breaking free from Roy’s grip.

Roy stumbled a little, his face already throbbing in pain, but grabbed hold of Havoc’s arm to jerk him back before the man could run foolishly straight into the burning building. “You’ll die if you try to go in there!”

“She’ll die if I don’t!”

“There’s nothing you can do, Havoc! I’m not going to let you throw your life away!”

The two men looked at one another, gulping down heavy breaths. There were tears swirling in Havoc’s eyes, but he didn’t go to run to the building as he stared back at Roy.

Roy watched as the other man shook under the fear that the woman he loved might die. It was so easy to see it in this moment. Roy knew exactly what it looked like when a person was forced to watch as the most important person in the world to them die right before them and not be able to do a damn thing about it. For all the small arguments they seemed to get into, for all the times they crashed together and then jerked apart from one another, there was not a doubt in Roy’s mind that Havoc loved Catalina. Havoc was breaking to pieces right in front of him and there was nothing to be done.

Standing before him was a man that might shatter if this woman died.

Roy knew that feeling all too well. The memory of Riza bleeding out was all too easy for him to conjure in this moment. He did not know if Havoc could handle that as well. Not everyone could, perhaps not even someone as strong and resilient as Havoc.

Havoc seemed to understand that as well. The tears began to spill out of his eyes in frustration. He didn’t even seem to notice them. “Can’t you do something? You’re an alchemist! Clap your hands, get rid of the debris, I don’t know!”

Glancing down at his hands briefly, Roy shook his head. “I don’t specialize in that kind of alchemy.”

“Specialize? I’ve seen what you can do!” Havoc clenched his hands into fists and then reached forward to grab hold of Roy by the lapels and jerk on him. His face was twisted into a pained snarl. “You just won’t do anything because you hate her! Is that it? Is that why you won’t lift a hand to save her?”

Roy did not move to pull away even as Havoc’s hands began to shake. “I could do something, but I’d more than likely only manage to cause more damage. I don’t know what sort of state she or the ruins are in. If I use alchemy to move the debris…I could potentially bring the rest of the building down and kill her.”

That was if she wasn’t dead already. Roy wasn’t about to say something like that though. So many people assumed the alchemy was the end all be all of things, but it wasn’t an easy button. He could do a few more things now that he had seen Truth, such as forego the use of transmutation circles, which gave him a much broader and easier use of alchemy than simply sticking with flame alchemy. He still wasn’t as familiar with other substances though or the transmutation equations necessary to perform them.

When the shaking in his hands became too much, Havoc let go of Roy and dropped his hands to his side, staring without seeing at the ground. “So we do nothing? We let her die?”

“Do you really think I’m the kind of person that leaves someone behind?” Roy asked. He could have been angry or insulted that Havoc of all people would say something like that to him, but he knew that the other man wasn’t thinking clearly right now. “Breda!”

After saying a few more words to the paramedics that had arrived on the scene to take care of Falman, Breda trotted over towards them. He caught sight of Havoc’s lost expression and gave Roy a leery look. “Sir?”

“I need you to get a hold of Fullmetal. He’s speaking at a symposium at Central College today. I don’t care if he’s in the middle of his speech. Tell him I need his help.”

If Breda was surprised by the order, he didn’t say anything. Instead he cast Havoc another concerned look and nodded his head before finding a phone to call the college. For the matter, Roy didn’t flinch at his own order either. It was no small feat to admit to Edward Elric that he might need the former alchemist’s help, but the fact that he did admit it would make Edward realize right away that the situation was grave and he wouldn’t argue about dropping whatever he was doing.

“Boss,” Havoc said in a broken voice, “what the hell is he going to do that you can’t? You know he can’t…”

“I don’t need him to perform alchemy,” Roy responded. “What I need is his knowledge. You want me to perform alchemy to save Catalina? I need to know what he knows. He can create the transmutation circles and I can use them.”

For a moment, a flicker of hope appeared in Havoc’s eyes. It was almost too much for Roy to bear. He was terrified of what might happen if he couldn’t perform the miracle that was starting to appear bleaker as time passed. The flames had mostly died down at least from what he could see, but there was no way of knowing what they would find once they were able to remove the wreckage and search for her. The college wasn’t too far, less than a ten minute drive if they sped (and that was the only speed Edward went), but every second counted. She could be seriously injured, bleeding out, trapped under a beam, suffering from head trauma, burned…

“They’re taking Falman to the hospital now, sir,” Riza’s voice said from behind him.

Roy just barely managed to stop from doing a full body wince, but he shut his eyes and grit his teeth the moment that he heard her voice. It was so collected. She wasn’t aware of what had happened yet as she walked towards them, but she would be in a matter of seconds. He wanted to turn around and pull her to him, but he didn’t know if he could face her when she realized that her best friend was missing from the picture. He was a weaker man than he thought sometimes.

Even though his back was towards her, he could practically feel her halt as she assessed the situation. “General, where is Lieutenant Catalina?”

Neither Roy nor Havoc answered her. Roy was too much of a coward to look her in the eyes, standing as still as possible and opening his eyes to stare ahead, and it appeared as if Havoc was too wounded to respond, ducking his head and allowing his hands to shake at his side.

“She’s still in there?”

Havoc’s voice wavered as he finally spoke up, “She…she pushed me out of the way and…”

A sudden flash of blonde and blue startled Roy. He snapped his head up just in time to catch Riza running full speed towards the factory without any hesitation. Before he could even react to Riza’s attempt to throw herself into the wreckage, Havoc jumped at her first, pulling her back into his arms much easier than Roy had done with him. He held her so that her feet even lifted off the ground for a second.

“You can’t!” Havoc told her hoarsely. “You can’t! It could collapse! You could…”

The struggle between the two of them was perhaps more brutal than the one between Roy and Havoc, if only because both of them wanted so desperately to save the person trapped. Havoc was probably half in mind to let go of Riza so that he could jump in the mess himself, but the idea of Riza possibly injuring herself or dying made him suddenly understand why Roy had held him back. 

Emitting something between an angry shout and pained yowl, Riza dug her nails into his arms and fought wildly to get out of Havoc’s grip, but there was no way that she could overpower him. “She’s in there alone–”

“Riza, you can’t!” Havoc’s voice cracked on the last one. “ _We_ can’t–”

Her face contorted into the same tortured expression that Roy remembered from when she had been confronted by Lust. He watched in stunned horror as Riza collapsed into Havoc’s arms. Both of their knees seemed to give out at the same time as they sunk to the ground together. They sat there, transfixed on the warehouse, shaking and afraid. Roy could only witness as the two of them comforted one another, Riza putting one hand to her mouth and the other on Havoc’s forearm as he held her and put his face on her shoulder to shield his tears.

It occurred to Roy that no matter how much he wanted to comfort Riza, no matter how much he wanted to reassure Havoc that something could be done, there was absolutely nothing he could do. All that was left for him to do was wait. He was even more useless than on a rainy day. There wasn’t a single word or action that could bring them any sort of peace. This was something between them and Roy was at a complete loss to help either of his subordinates.

When a car pulled up and came to a skidding halt, Roy turned around just in time to watch Edward hop out of the car. It was still surprising to see him so grown up, if only because it was difficult to picture him as anything but the short (tempered) alchemist that had been under his command. But Edward was very much an adult now, wearing a casual dress clothes, brown slacks with a brown vest and tie, and a serious expression to match it.

“What in the hell happened?” Edward demanded. His eyes widened in surprise and he started when he caught sight of Havoc and Riza. Edward had never seen those two act in such a way, least of all the Riza. He hadn’t been there to witness her breakdown with Lust.

“Exactly what it looks like,” Roy responded, which wasn’t really an answer but an explanation nonetheless. He couldn’t go into exact details about the situation with a civilian, even if that person was a former State Alchemist, and he didn’t have to time besides. “Lieutenant Catalina is trapped inside though. I’m not sure of her condition, but she could be severely injured or worse.”

Edward jerked his eyes back to Roy. “So you need my help to get in there safely?”

Roy let out a cold chuckle. “Metal is still your area of expertise, is it not?”

“This will be…tricky,” Edward said as he began to roll up his sleeves. “You’ll be able to perform the alchemy, but you don’t fully understand the formulas or equations.”

“I know the basics,” Roy told him. “Nearly all alchemists start out the same.”

For a strange moment, Edward looked at him like he was seeing Roy for the first time. Perhaps he occasionally forgot that Roy hadn’t always been the Flame Alchemist. There had been a time when he couldn’t produce a single spark and had started learning the same alchemy techniques and equations that Edward had. Roy didn’t practice them nearly as often as he once had, but he never forgot them.

“Right then. Luckily, with your ability to bypass actually needing to draw a transmutation circle, you should be able to still use it.” Edward pat down his pockets, but came up empty-handed for whatever he was searching for. “I need something to write with. Do you have a pen or–?”

When Roy produced a stick of chalk from a pocket, Edward looked surprise yet again. “An old habit of mine from my childhood that I haven’t yet grown out of.” He’d learned to carry it on him when he got switched for not having it every time Master Hawkeye checked him.

Crouching down, Edward scratched the back of his head thoughtfully for a moment before he started drawing a transmutation circle. He worked quickly, considering that they had lost far too much valuable time as it was, despite the fact that it was a complex situation. Roy trusted him though. It may have been years since Edward had performed alchemy, but there likely wasn’t anyone as talented or knowledgeable on the subject as him.

If anything were to go wrong in the process of trying to save Catalina, it would be solely Roy’s fault.

“There.” Edward stood up and dusted his hands on his pants. “That’s the best I can figure. It’ll restructure the building, but will be careful not to drag any biological components into the reconstruction.” He glanced up at Roy, a firm look in his eyes. “I can’t do anything about the fires though.”

Roy smiled grimly. “Leave that to me.”

After examining the array that Edward had created, Roy took a deep breath. Surprisingly, he could understand it for the most part, the bits and pieces of his knowledge on the subject coming back to him, though he never would have been able to come up with it on his own without time to research. He nodded his head to himself and then started towards the building.

Pausing next to his subordinates, Roy placed a hand on Havoc’s shoulder. “I need you and the Captain to go back to everyone else.”

Havoc looked up at him with wet eyes. “Sir?”

“I don’t want you caught in the rebound in case anything goes wrong.”

Roy didn’t need to look down to see the amount of emotions swirling in Havoc’s eyes. He could feel the way that Havoc wanted to protest, as if suddenly realizing the amount of danger that Roy was putting himself in by performing alchemy that he wasn’t completely familiar with. Before Riza could jump up to protest, Roy walked away from them. He heard her shout for him once as Havoc dragged her and himself to their feet and guided her away, but he didn’t look back.

Strangely he could feel Edward’s eyes on his back the most. There was a hard look of understanding in them. But then Edward of all people knew the dangers of alchemy. He understood the consequences of performing alchemy that you didn’t quite understand. He could feel the pressure that Roy was facing. And he also knew quite well that if anything were to go wrong, Roy could not only make things worse for Catalina and Havoc, but also die in the process himself.

That was a risk Roy was willing to take for his subordinates though. He was only rising to the top so that he could protect the people below him. It appeared as if Edward would finally see that now.

The heat from the flames wasn’t too unbearable – he’d felt worse in Ishval – but he had no idea how Catalina was faring on the inside. At best he could hope that she was conscious and trying to find a way out. At worst… Well, best not to think of that now.

Picturing the array in his mind, Roy focused on the building and clapped his hands together. Blue light from the transmutation circle he created with his arms began to sizzle around him. When he pressed his hands to a slab of hot concrete, there was a loud crack in the air and an explosion of white hot light burst before him, blinding him and everyone else around them. Riza was shouting from somewhere, but it was so faint behind the sounds of the transmutation that he felt like he was barely holding onto to keep together. The alchemy fought back with him, threatening to unravel at any given moment, but Roy didn’t pull away. He didn’t hesitate. He didn’t flinch. He just grit his teeth and finished it, refusing to allow the transmutation to slip through his fingers.

At the forefront of his mind, Roy was focused on the transmutation and alchemy, but the edges pulsed with the desperation that he could save Havoc from living with what he had once faced himself.

When the light finally subsided, a resounding gasp sounded in the air when everyone saw that the once burning and crumpled building was perfectly reconstructed again. There were still spots of fire that needed to be taken care of that Edward’s array couldn’t account for and that Roy hadn’t been able to deal with at the same time. He threw up a hand to signal for everyone to hold back and then clapped his hands together and pressed them against the building once more.

The fires flickered just as the alchemy light glowed until they finally went out. As soon as he pulled his hands away, Roy breathed again. Creating fires was much easier than putting them out with alchemy and safer as well. Snuffing a fire out by taking away the oxygen that it greedily fed on could kill a person as much as fire and smoke could, and it also sucked the energy right out of him from the struggle it caused.

Unable to hold himself up straight any further after all the effort, Roy staggered backwards and found himself close to falling over with dizziness, but he managed to lean forward and put a hand against newly constructed wall to steady himself. It was still hot to the touch.

Turning around, Roy locked eyes with Havoc. Neither of them spoke, but Havoc understood the order passed between their stare loud and clear: _Go get your girl._

Without waiting a second longer, Havoc sprinting into the building with Breda hot on his heels to help out. Roy honestly expected Riza to follow after them, but was startled to feel her small hands on his arms, steadying him as he continued to waver on his feet. He watched as her expression changed from distraught to concerned and then to carefully guarded, but there was still a pool of tears in her eyes that she hadn’t been able to hide yet. Her grip on him was strong to keep him standing and somehow gentle at the same time to comfort him.

Nothing was said out loud between the two of them as they gazed at one another. He could see her telling him how reckless his actions had been in the frown on her face, but the gratefulness for his determination and help in the glow of her eyes.

It was only when Havoc’s shouts of, “I need a medic!” from inside the building did the two of them look away from one another. Roy nudged Riza forward. She glanced at him once before jogging to open the door for Havoc. In the First Lieutenant’s arms was Catalina, hanging limply in his grip. From his position, Roy couldn’t tell if she was breathing or not, but he saw the way her arm was dangling and the blood dripping down her face. There may have been burns too, but he couldn’t see.

Paramedics rushed forward with a gurney, and Havoc carefully placed Catalina onto the white bedding. There were tears in her clothing and maybe a few spots where she’d been burned, but besides the blood on her face and an obviously broken arm, she looked dirty from mostly soot and dust. Havoc’s knees seemed to nearly go out again when Catalina groaned and leaned her cheek into the palm of his hand. A trail of tears was plain to see on his dust covered face.

As Catalina was rushed into the ambulance, Havoc opened his mouth to speak when Roy cut in. “Go. Someone needs to keep an eye on her.” Havoc swallowed down the question and then leaped into the back of the vehicle with her. Without missing a beat, Roy placed a hand on the small of Riza’s back. “Go with them.”

Riza gave him a questioning look. He could tell that she wanted to go to the hospital to be there for her best friend, but she also couldn’t leave her post guarding him, especially during such a vulnerable moment.

Roy gave her a small smile. “I’ll be fine. You should be with her – and I don’t want Havoc to be alone.” Besides, he had the rest of the team and Edward to keep him company and watch his back. Riza clenched her fists at her side as she thought about what Roy was doing for her and then followed Havoc into the back of the ambulance. The two of them were already focused on Catalina as the doors shut, Havoc smoothing the curly brown hair out of her face and Riza holding onto her undamaged hand. Roy watched the vehicle drive towards the hospital until it was no longer in sight.

“You did something incredibly stupid today.” As Roy turned to his left, Edward stepped up next to him, hands dug in his pockets. His eyes weren’t on the road, but on the rebuilt factory. “And brilliant as well. I haven’t seen alchemy like that in, well…” Edward shook his head. It was one thing for him to know that Roy had performed something that he wasn’t entirely sure of and quite another for him to know that Roy’s manipulation of the oxygen level could have been catastrophic if not executed perfectly. “So dangerous though, Mustang.”

“You think you can call me that just because you’re out of the military?” Roy asked with a derisive snort, though there was no true heat behind his words.

Edward looked him straight in the eyes. Remarkable how they were at same level. “I think I can after this.” Yes, they were very much on the same level now, perhaps for the first time in either of their lives, even more than when Roy had been forced to face the same Truth that Edward had. “You didn’t even hesitate to risk your life for someone that I know for a fact you don’t care much for.”

“It doesn’t matter what I think,” Roy responded. “I’m not going to leave someone behind if I can help it.”

And it truly didn’t matter if Roy didn’t care for Catalina or if she seemed to despise him. All that had mattered in that moment was that Havoc loved her – that Riza cared for her – and Roy would’ve risked anything if it meant doing something for the people that mattered most to him. He couldn’t admit to being rattled by the way that Havoc had been ready to toss himself to the flames for Catalina or how Riza had looked close to shattering at the thought of losing her best friend.

But more importantly, Roy could not stop thinking about the way Catalina had willingly sacrificed herself to save Havoc. That wasn’t the behavior of a woman that he had seen as nothing but shallow before. That was definitely the actions of a woman that loved a man and would do anything for him, and it had shocked Roy to see that resoluteness in her as much as it had to see the fear in Havoc.


	2. Recovery

There were empty seats all around them, but Jean didn’t think he could sit even if his life depended on it. A few people eyed him apprehensively as he paced around the room, fidgeting with his hands, but no one said a word. For the first time, his skills as a sniper failed him. He couldn’t sit still. He couldn’t stop moving. He couldn’t do anything that his mind and body had been shaped for. All he could do was walk around and try not to scream or burst into the operating room.

Honestly, Jean didn’t know how Riza was able to sit so still and quietly. She didn’t even seem to move or blink as she sat patiently. Part of him wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her out of it, but another part of him felt stabs of guilt and jealousy that he couldn’t be as stoic as her in this moment. It had taken all of his strength and then some to hold her back from trying to save Rebecca when every inch of him had been dying to do the same, but Mustang had been right in the end.

They would have died trying to save her or possibly made things worse, and so the General had taken it upon himself to shoulder the responsibility of saving her life.

Running his hands through his already messy hair, dust from the collapse sliding through his fingers, Jean tried not to consider the fact that he had been close to losing a woman he hadn’t realized he loved. When he glanced over to Riza and her blank gaze, his attention was dragged to the white scar on her neck. Had this been how Mustang had felt when Riza’s throat had been slashed?

Jean closed his eyes and tried to picture anything besides Rebecca’s prone body on the ground. The way she’d been lying there with her left arm at such an awkward angle, he’d been able to tell that a metal beam had fallen on her arm, pinning her to the ground. There were cuts and bruises all over her, blood staining the blue military uniform she did everything she could to get out of wearing while at work. There had also been a gash on her head from where concrete had hit her and knocked her unconscious, causing blood to seep down her face and into her hair.

It had been so strange seeing her like that. She’d had a building collapse on her and all the marks to prove it, but after the alchemy Mustang had performed, Rebecca had been lying in the middle of a perfectly clean room, like it had never happened.

Like she had never shoved him out of the way and sacrificed herself for him.

All in all, Rebecca had only been trapped for about twenty minutes, maybe less, but Jean suddenly understood the cliché. It had felt like a lifetime; it had felt like years of his life had been stripped away from him. Every minute that he had been forced to live with the idea that Rebecca might have died for him cut him deep to the point where he’d felt the pain in his bones.

He’d never told her that he loved her. Not one time. Hadn’t uttered anything even close to it. And maybe, truth be told, he hadn’t really thought of it either – at least not until he’d been forced to stare into the possibility of a world where he could never get the chance to. It sounded awfully selfish of him now that he was able to reflect on it. Rebecca had been in that burning and collapsed building, struggling under the weight of debris, coughing on smoke, sweating in a fire, and all he had thought about was that he’d never told her that he loved her. How simple of him.

But he thought of all the times that he could have done so.

Like when they were lying in bed the other morning and she rolled over to smack him with a pillow because he’d turned off the alarm instead of hitting the snooze button and they were going to be late for work. Or when she gave up on straightening her curly hair for a night out and wore it up in a ponytail instead after a long day at work but he always loved it when she simply wore her hair up. Then there was that time when they got into an argument so bad that they didn’t talk for two days and they both ran into each other outside of her apartment on their way to apologize to one another separately. When they were at the gun range and she schooled every guy out there. That day when she’d come up to pick up the ammunition and weapons from the General Store for the Promised Day. The times they danced together, a little more than buzzed, giggling and getting handsy with each other like teenagers. Last night when they were on the couch and he had his head in her lap taking a nap while she read some trashy romance novel.

Jean honestly couldn’t say when he had fallen in love with Rebecca. All he knew was that it hadn’t struck him until today that he had. They weren’t even officially together, having so many ups and downs in their relationship, but he loved her nonetheless. Whatever they had, he’d always known it was incredibly passionate, maybe a little volatile, but he had never been unhappy with her, even during their down times. He had always known that he would give her a goofy grin and she would lean against him and everything would feel so damn right in the world. He’d show up with flowers on random days, not just when he wanted to apologize, and she would bake some wickedly delicious desert and surprise him at work with it.

Forever much they got into arguments with one another, they were undeniably protective of one another. Jean liked to think that he protected her, but he knew that Rebecca would fight insanely for him. He had always rather thought that her protectiveness was so similar to Mustang’s with Riza – a little dangerous and sometimes jealousy-driven, which always had him grinning like a dope. Every now and then, a soldier would make a comment about the fact that Havoc still sometimes limped or had problems with his back from his old injury, and if Rebecca was around, she’d rear on them so viciously that Riza and Jean would have to drag her away.

 _“You’re a damn good soldier, Jean,”_ Rebecca would sniff angrily, _“and an even better man.”_

Unable to stand it any further, Jean collapsed into the chair next to Riza and doubled over, burying his face in his hands and digging his fingers into his hair. God, he loved that woman. She was far too good to him.

When he felt Riza put a hand on his back, Jean started involuntarily, but then allowed all the tension to flow from his body, his shoulders sagging and his head dropping even further. He’d been so worked up over the past few hours that he hadn’t even recognized the aches in his muscles. Riza didn’t rub his back or pat him; all she did was keep her hand there and he felt like he could breathe again, if only for a moment. Just the simple contact from her helped steady him.

It caught him off guard to realize her hand was shaking slightly too, but after a few seconds, her hand still against his back and remained like that. Jean smiled in his hands. Physical comfort was not Riza’s specialty – she always preferred silent communication – but it appeared as if today both of them needed this. He needed her steady and calm strength that she’d perfected by the end of her sniper days in the Ishval War, but she had needed the reassurance that she wasn’t alone in suffering the emotional turmoil swelling inside of her. How she was able to remain this stable in a time like this was beyond him when he felt like he was vibrating with fear.

To his right, Jean heard doors swing open, but he didn’t bother looking up. However, when a man called out, “The family of Lieutenant Catalina?” Jean’s head jerked up in the direction of a doctor looking up from charts in his hands. Riza pulled her hand away from his back and they both stood up together to walk towards the doctor, who was eyeing them a little more than suspiciously.

“We’re her family,” Jean answered in a fiercer tone than he intended.

Riza was a little more diplomatic. “We’re her colleagues, but also her close friends: Captain Hawkeye and First Lieutenant Havoc. We were with her when the accident happened.” She bit her lip, a faintly distressed look crossing her face. “Her family lives in East City. I’m not… I’m not sure if they’ve even been contacted yet.”

“Well, we’re only supposed to allow immediate family in,” the doctor said slowly, “but since that won’t be possible, I can let that slide.” He adjusted his glasses and focused his eyes carefully on Jean. “Besides, she’s asking for you.”

Jean’s heart leaped into his throat. “She’s conscious?”

“Just barely and probably not for long once the sedatives kick in,” the doctor admitted. “She suffered quite a few injuries: a fractured radius, internal bleeding in the abdomen, a concussion, some lacerations, and a few first degree burns.” He shook his head, flicking through the chart and then folding the papers under his arms. “She went through hell and I’m honestly surprised she’s still awake, but she’s a fighter.”

Rebecca wasn’t about to allow herself to fall back into unconsciousness until she saw him. It was like she was fighting with her own body. Jean felt himself begin to shake again as his eyes drifted towards the doors. Just behind them would be Rebecca, a little broken and bloody, but bandaged and heart beating.

Riza placed a hand on his arm. “You go see her first. I should call her parents.”

Jean frowned. “She’ll want to see you too.”

“You first.” Riza smiled at him. “I’ll wait until she’s properly rested. I’d hate for her to see that I’ve been crying over her. She’ll get upset with herself if she sees that.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Jean nodded his head and then followed the doctor through the double doors and down the hallway. He kept his eyes trained ahead as they walked in silence, too many thoughts leaping about in his brain for him to focus on much of anything. A broken arm, internal bleeding, head trauma… He had been so close to losing her. He didn’t need the doc to say anything for him to know that if Rebecca hadn’t been pulled out of there when she had been, she would’ve been dead.

Mustang had jumped through loops and risked his life to save a woman that threw snippy comments at him and that he sneered at on a near daily basis. The two of them fought like cats and dogs, picking at one another, always managing to gripe about the other in either the most indirect or direct ways possible. It was shameful now that he thought about it, but Jean had been ready to slug Mustang right in the jaw for refusing to perform alchemy to help her at first. He hadn’t thought about the consequences, lost in his desperation, and had said some pretty nasty things to his commanding officer. The man had refused to allow Jean or Riza to risk their lives to save Rebecca, but had placed his own life in jeopardy for her in their stead.

A cold laugh fought its way to bubble up, but Jean shoved it down. Mustang had saved his life twice and now the life of the woman Jean loved. He really did owe that bastard something.

When they stopped at a door, Jean hesitated for the first time today. The doctor gave him one last look before turning on his heels and walking away, leaving Jean alone to stare straight ahead. It was just a door. And on the other side was the love of his life that almost died while he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

Taking a deep breath, Jean twisted the doorknob and slipped inside, quietly shutting the door behind him. When he turned around, that breath caught in his throat. There was Rebecca, lying still in bed, looking like, well, like she’d had a building fall on top of her. Her head was bandaged, making a complete mess of her hair that he knew make her screech if she spotted her reflection, and her left arm was in a cast up to the middle of her bicep. There were bandages dotting her skin to cover up lacerations and burns, but not even all of that and a hospital gown could hide some bruises dusting her skin like war paint.

Despite all of that, Rebecca must’ve heard the door close because she turned her head to face him and smiled the most beautiful smile that Jean had ever seen. He could’ve sworn she was blushing too. “I look terrible, I know. I think…they cut some of my hair… Gonna need a wig or something.”

“God, no, Becca, you look…” Jean rubbed his mouth and took a breath through his nose. He dropped his hand and stared at her like she was the only shade in the desert from Amestris to Xing. Each step he took towards her was shakier than the last, but the time he reached her bed, he felt the tears pooling in his eyes again. Goddamn this woman knew how to make him cry.

“Have you…even been checked by a doctor? You’ve got a…cut on your–” When Rebecca went to sit up using her right hand, she winced in pain and nearly fell back down.

Jean rushed to catch her and gently eased her down. “Hey, c’mon now, you’re supposed to be relaxing. You had a burning building fall on you. No getting up, no worrying about me.”

Despite the fact that she was obviously having trouble breathing and talking without being in some sort of pain, no matter what painkillers that she had been given, Rebecca huffed in frustration. “Don’t be an idiot.”

That only made Jean smile though. She could barely breathe, but she had enough energy to tell him that.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to save you,” Jean told her, the smile flickering away. “I was pretty useless.” He reached out to run his fingers through her hair again, but held back, worried that they’d get caught in her tangles and hurt her head more, so he settled for brushing her bangs away from the bandage. “You saved my life, Bec, and I just–”

“You would’ve…done the same for me,” Rebecca insisted, closing her eyes as he brushed her hair back. She always loved it when he played with her hair. It was one of those things that helped her relax after a stressful day and something he enjoyed doing when he woke up first thing in the morning next to her. It was always so wild in the mornings and she complained about it, but he loved it.

“I would’ve tossed myself into that building to save you if it wasn’t for Mustang,” Jean told her. There was a light look of surprise in her eyes. She hadn’t been conscious when Jean had carried her out of the rebuilt factory, only coming to here and there, so she probably wasn’t aware of what had happened yet. In time, she would find out. He knew for a fact that she would be stunned to know all of what Mustang had done to save her – to save them both, really. “I was ready to die to try to save you – would’ve completely wasted your sacrifice.”

“Idiot,” Rebecca repeated, but in a much softer and fonder voice this time. She moved her good right hand over her chest, a little shaky and weak, but he took her small hand in his big one. Her hands weren’t soft. They were hands that held guns alongside purses, fingers that squeezed triggers and applied lipstick. They were perfect.

What if he had never been able to simply hold her hand again?

Jean felt like his knees might buckle again. He found a seat next to the bed and sat down, leaning forward so that he could lay his head on the bed next to her side, right below her casted arm. The blankets were soft and warm, but it was the feel of her slowly rising and falling chest against his head that comforted him the most, the way he cradled her one hand in both of his, bowing to her, like he was praying. And he was, oh god, he was.

“I was so damn terrified that I’d lost you,” Jean whispered in a hoarse voice. “It was all I could do to keep Riza from jumping in to save you too. I knew you wouldn’t want her to get hurt, but I felt like I was abandoning you.”

“But you didn’t abandon me,” Rebecca pointed out. Her voice was weaker now. He could tell that the drugs were starting to kick in and that she would fall asleep soon. She was fighting them though, as she did everything else. His stubborn woman – she’d fight death tooth and nail if she could.

Fighting the urge to spill tears all over again, Jean took a shuddering breath. “I’ve wasted so much time. I’ve been selfish. I’ve been petty and immature. It took you nearly dying to save my life for me to realize that I didn’t want to live my life without you in it.”

Though she was relatively still as it was from her injuries, he thought that he could feel her stiffen on the bed through the little contact he had with her. Someone else might’ve thought that she’d finally fallen asleep, but he could tell by the way her hand jerked still in his that she was still awake and had frozen up. “Jean…you’re not…” He raised his eyes to look up at her and was surprised to find tears in her brown eyes. “You better not be telling me…that you love me for the…first time while I look like hell.”

Despite his better judgment, Jean could only laugh. “That’s exactly what I’m doing, darlin’.” He lifted her good hand so that he could kiss the back of it. “I love you and you’re stunning and you scare me sometimes and drive me mad at other times and you blow me away in every damn way possible and I love you.” He smiled at her, this time bright and true. It felt too damn good to get that off his chest and out of his mind, especially when the words had been ricocheting around his skull for the past few hours. “And you don’t have to say it back if you don’t–”

“I love you too,” Rebecca interrupted, sounding stronger than she had in the past few minutes, but then her lips began to wobble a bit. “And you know…I wouldn’t say it…if I didn’t mean it.”

Jean pressed her hand to his face. “I know.”

“But I…I was scared.” She moved her thumb so that it caressed his cheek. He had more than a five o’clock shadow going on by this point; he usually kept himself clean shaven, due to the military regulations, but he knew that she was fond of the way his stubble would rub against her cheeks roughly when they kissed. “Scared of saying it, scared of…not being able to say it. I saw the roof collapsing and I…” She closed her eyes. “I couldn’t let you get hurt – not again, not ever.”

“So you threw yourself in harm’s way?” Jean countered. “Who’s the idiot now?”

Rebecca hummed. “You make me do…and think…a lot of crazy things.” But then she smiled a little, eyes still closed. “But not that. I don’t…I don’t regret that.”

Jean watched as her breathing slowly began to even out. Her lips parted a tiny bit and her grip on his hand went slack, telling him that she had finally lost her fight with the sedatives and was asleep. He reached up to brush her bangs out of her face again and then placed her right hand back in a more comfortable position on her chest. He didn’t even bother to get up, just laid his head back on the bed at her side with one hand on top of hers and closed his eyes. If he accidentally managed to fall asleep in this position, his back would hurt like hell when he woke up, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to hold her hand while she slept and recovered. That was all.


	3. Respite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I only said there was going to be two parts and honestly I had no intentions of writing a third part. It was done in my mind. And then while I work I started thinking about something stupidsexymustang and I were gushing over. A few glasses of wine later, and this was produced.

When the door opened, Rebecca didn’t bother to fight the urge to throw the blanket over her head and yell at whoever had decided to disrupt her sleep. She wasn’t a heavy sleeper. The slightest of sounds could wake her up, even if she was under the influence of some heavy medication apparently. Jean could sleep through a storm, an earthquake, and possibly the end of the world, but if there was one out of place noise around her, Rebecca would startle awake and prepare to fight someone.

Except that she was stuck in a hospital, her left arm in a cast, and covered in bruises and cuts up to her head thanks to a burning building falling on top of her, so she wasn’t exactly in shape to fight anyone.

“Aren’t people supposed to leave recovering patients to, you know, recover?” Rebecca demanded as she rolled over in her bed. She tried not to wince at the pain in her side, but it was hard not to do so. Having a metal beam land on top of you, pining your arm down and landing across your chest, wasn’t pleasant and tended to leave some painful reminders.

“You didn’t want to thank your savior?”

Rebecca threw the blanket back and glared in the direction of the person interrupting her nap time. “Well, if it isn’t General Smug Face himself, here to bless me with his presence.” Surprisingly, maybe mostly to her, there was not that much heat or sarcasm behind her words. She had called him variations of that name from the time that she had known him, changing it whenever his rank changed, but for perhaps the first time in their lives, even though he sounded like he was being a smug bastard, she didn’t mean it.

Roy Mustang smirked back at her as he leaned against the wall. Rebecca almost scowled. No, he was definitely a smug bastard, even if he had risked killing himself to save her life while protecting Jean and Riza. How did he manage to do be both?

Steeling herself, Rebecca sat up in her bed as straight as possible. Not as good as Riza’s practical stance since she still had bandages around her waist, but Rebecca was a soldier at heart still. “Did you need something from me?”

“Not from you, no,” Mustang admitted, “more for myself.” When Rebecca quirked up an eyebrow at him, he gave her a sheepish smile that she could tell right off the bat that was something he normally gave Riza. Probably when he was slacking at paperwork. “I needed to apologize.”

That caught Rebecca off guard. Her jaw dropped a little as she gaped at him. For all the years that she had known this man, Mustang had not been one to apologize. He had taken Riza and Jean from her, dragged Riza through all sorts of hell, had even had a hand in Jean getting paralyzed, and so much more – all for the sake of getting promoted time and time again. The man was relentless and entirely selfish when it came to his career, even if it meant stepping on the faces of his subordinates to get what he wanted.

And yet he had risked dying to save a person that he could seemingly not care less for.

Rebecca had been told the details of her rescue a few days after the accident had occurred when the sedatives and the painkillers didn’t put her to sleep every ten minutes. Jean and Riza would’ve thrown their lives away in an attempt to save her. She had known the moment that she saw the roof start to collapse that if she pushed Jean out of the way that she would most likely die. She’d had seconds to make that decision, but she had only needed one. There was no way in hell or heaven that she would let Jean suffer another injury or worse. She loved him too much and he had gone through too much to get where he was today. And so the decision to save Jean in place of her own life had not been a difficult one.

It was harder for her to imagine what had gone outside the building while she had been trapped. Jean ready to die in an attempt to save her, ignoring the fact that she had done what she did to save him; Riza losing sight of herself to jump back into the fire and rubble to save a woman that was more like a sister than a friend. And the only person to keep them alive was Roy Mustang, an absolutely despicable man that only cared for himself. Or did he?

There Mustang was, leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, his dark eyes focused on her in a way that might have made her squirm if she wasn’t stuck in a hospital bed or absolutely in love with his First Lieutenant or knew that his heart lied elsewhere. He was terribly handsome. He used it to his advantage. Rebecca had griped and sneered about that fact, if only because she knew how much her best friend loved the man though she wouldn’t admit it, but even she could not lie that the man was attractive in his own bastardry way. He gave off that air now, but for the first time, she could smell it in the air that it was nothing more than false advertisement.

Roy Mustang was a fake. He cared about the people that served under him, to the point that he would risk his life and throw himself to the wolves if it meant protecting them. They weren’t really that different, were they?

“This is the drugs, isn’t it?” Rebecca decided. “I’m just high off the painkillers.”

“No, you heard me correct,” Mustang responded, swaggering over towards her like he would have any other easy female cadet. And yet, despite the painkillers she was on, she saw how utterly fake his bravado was. He was making it all too easy for her to see with his obviousness. “I’m here to apologize.”

Rebecca took a deep breath through her nose, sitting up straight, sinking, and everything. The idea of Mustang apologizing to her was unheard of? But especially after what he had done? She had to be dreaming. Instead of exclaiming her shock though, she did something also unheard of: she swallowed her pride. “There’s no need for you to apologize. I should be thanking you. After all, you saved my life.”

Mustang tilted his head in a curious manner. “I was wrong about you, Lieutenant.”

“Wrong?” Rebecca rubbed her head with her good hand. “You’re here to apologize and admit you were wrong? Now I know I’m dreaming.”

Instead of getting aggravated though, Mustang only chuckled. “I should’ve expected that from you. Here I am, thinking I could come in here, apologize, and be on my merry way – but no, you wouldn’t let me do that. You’ve gotta drag me in the mud first.” He wasn’t angry though. That much Rebecca could tell. He was all too cheerful, chuckling and still smiling. It was like he was happy that she wasn’t trying to get on her knees to thank him for saving her life and keeping Jean and Riza out of harm’s way for her. She rather wished he would. That way it would’ve confirmed everything she had thought about him before. “You love him, don’t you?”

For a moment, Rebecca didn’t think she could breathe. Mustang was so straightforward with his question that it wasn’t a question at all. He knew that answer, regardless of what she said. He alone had been the one to see the way she had jumped so willingly to protect Jean’s life in disregard of her own. He alone had been the one to save her when it meant putting his life and goals at risk. Her death wouldn’t have been a mark against his record. It would have been nonexistent in the end. She could have died and he would have still risen to the top. In the end, it didn’t make sense for him to risk his life for her.

Unless he cared about his subordinates more than he was supposed to, more than he showed to the world.

In a way, it was so terribly similar to the way she hid her feelings for Jean. She could snap at him, whack him on the arm, refuse to talk to him, and huff at him in irritation, but at the end of the day, Rebecca could not deny that she loved Jean with her entire heart and soul. The mere idea of him getting hurt had jumped her heartbeat to yell at him to stay behind cover, but the sight of him in a position where he could have died… Her entire body, mind, and soul had screamed for her to save him.

So Rebecca did the only thing she could do. She tilted her chin up, regardless of the pain, and made the most serious expression she could muster as she said, “I do.”

And of course, in response, Mustang only smiled. “I know.”

“Then why would you ask me?” Rebecca demanded heatedly.

“I just wanted to hear you admit it,” Mustang replied. “I know how stubborn you are.”

Rebecca swelled up with rage, but it deflated just as quickly. It had taken her months to come to terms with herself that she loved Jean Havoc. The moment the thought had crossed her mind, she had been absolutely repulsed by it – and at the same time, she had been incredibly happy. Jean was a conflicting man. He liked to pretend that he was dumb, just another country bumpkin, and yet he was savvy and quick to draw and oh-so-willing to lay his life on the line for the people that he cared about. He’d fight someone for Breda, take Riza into his arms, and take a bullet for Mustang. And for Rebecca? Oh, he’d take on the entire world for her, even when they weren’t talking to one another because of a petty fight.

Closing her eyes, Rebecca forced the words out of her mouth. “I misjudged you.”

When she opened her eyes, she was able to spot for the briefest of moments that Mustang was taken aback as well. After all, Rebecca was not one to admit her faults, perhaps even more so than the General himself. “Oh?”

“For the longest time, I was convinced that you only cared about yourself,” Rebecca said. Mustang didn’t flinch. He had been accused of much worse, especially by her. Jean had told her of how he had accused Mustang of not wanting to help her because Mustang supposedly hated her. It hadn’t been the case at all. He simply couldn’t help her at that time because he didn’t have the means. The moment he did, even if it meant dying, he had jumped to save her. Idiots, the lot of them, including Edward Elric for giving Mustang the array. “I now know that I was wrong. You’re one hell of an emotional fool.”

“My true weakness,” Mustang chortled.

This time, Rebecca smiled. “You’d do anything for love, wouldn’t you?”

“Apparently so would you,” Mustang countered.

It occurred to Rebecca that she hadn’t truly seen Roy Mustang. She could picture him becoming upset over Riza having her throat slashed in order to threaten him to perform human transmutation, but she had never truly understood how it had broken him until this very moment. Her entire body softened as she looked at the man that she had threatened to pummel over the head with her purse on multiple occasions. She would have done anything to protect Jean, to save his life, just as Mustang would have done to protect Riza – and as of a few days ago, to protect Jean too. The love of her life was so foolhardy.

“I thought you were such a petty person,” Mustang began thoughtfully, “just waiting on Havoc to make it big once I got to the top. Surely you knew I would bring him with me. He’s an excellent and loyal soldier, if nothing else.”

Rebecca had to bite her lip. Of course she knew those things about Jean. It was one of the first things that had attracted her to him. Back in the day, she could go on all day about how she wanted a rich husband, but at the end of it, a good man in a uniform, a man that was loyal to his commanding officer, somehow won her over no matter what. And Jean had been so good and loyal to a fault, so kind and gentle and relentless at the same time. He brought her flowers on one day and then took her to the gun range for a date on the next. How could she have not fallen for him?

“But then you were so willing to give your life up for Havoc’s – and I saw the look in your eyes.” Mustang shook his head. “There wasn’t any doubt. You were ready to give up your life for his. You had no intentions of coming out of this alive as long as it meant that he would live.”

It took a certain amount of strength for Rebecca to breathe in this moment. When Jean was with her, she was able to pretend that she had expected him to save her. She smiled and told him that she knew that he would come to get her, that he would never abandon her, that he would find her. And then they would live happily ever after. But when she had seen the roof of the factory collapsing, she had known: it was her or him. She chose him. 

Maybe it was selfish. If she had died, she would have never known the difference. But all she had been able to think about was Lust stabbing him in the back, him almost dying, and she couldn’t bear for that to happen again. She wanted Jean to live. She wanted him to be safe. She just wanted him to be okay. If it had meant her dying to ensure that, she was fine with that.

“He’s suffered enough, hasn’t he?” Rebecca finally managed.

At that, Mustang bowed his head regretfully. “Yes, yes he has.”

“I couldn’t…” Rebecca clenched her good hand into a fist. “I couldn’t allow him to suffer again. He went through too much already. He’s too good of a person for that.”

“He is,” Mustang concurred wholeheartedly, and Rebecca knew. She knew that she had never seen Mustang for what he truly was. Jean had told her of how Mustang had carved his alchemy symbol into the back of his hand when his gloves had been ripped by Lust – how he had cauterized Jean’s wounds before his own, even if it meant bleeding out – how he’d burned and severely scarred himself, before crawling to his feet and staggering to save Riza and Alphonse – but it honestly hadn’t occurred to Rebecca until she had been told the details of her own rescue the lengths that Mustang would go to save a person he cared for. And he did care for Jean, and if it meant dying in an attempt to save her for Jean, he would do it.

Rebecca finally understood Riza’s predicament. Damn this man. Damn him to hell and heaven and back.

“You know then,” Mustang said.

“How could I not?” Rebecca asked with a short laugh.

No one would have done what Mustang had done to save her if they did not understand what the two people involved were going through. It was so painfully clear to Rebecca that Mustang had nearly lost someone that he loved with his entire soul. No one talked about it. His screams for her to call back him, the way that that Riza had been used against him, how he had held her in his arms in a pathetic attempt to bring her back. No one on the team had seen it happen, but they all knew that it did. Princess May Chang had been all too willing to recount the absolute beautiful love that she had seen between the then-Colonel and his then-Lieutenant.

Mustang shook his head, maybe at himself, maybe at her, maybe at all of them. “The things we do for love…”

“It’s not supposed to be logical,” Rebecca said. “Love is a tricky thing. I was ready to die for Jean.”

“And I was ready for perform human transmutation for Riza,” Mustang admitted. He sunk in on himself for a moment. Rebecca blinked in surprise. It was an obvious show of weakness for Mustang, especially in front of people that he didn’t trust, but she realized that the moment that he admitted this was the moment that he had completely opened up to her. How many people had he done this for? Riza? Havoc? That Elric kid? “I knew that if I performed human transmutation, I would’ve condemned myself to hell, but I was willing to do that if it meant saving her life. Turns out she had other ideas and I listened.”

Rebecca understood that it wasn’t easy for Mustang to admit this. He liked to pretend that he was strong the entire time – that he had never faltered once – but the cold hard truth was that he would have performed the ultimate taboo sin in order to save the woman that he loved, even though he knew the consequences. He would have given up anything for Riza. Truth be told, Rebecca didn’t like to think about it. She wasn’t an alchemist and she had never had anything to do with that science. But she knew enough to know equivalent exchange. In Mustang’s mind, the only thing equivalent to Riza was his life. To Rebecca, the only thing equivalent to Jean’s life was her own.

They were such foolish _idiots_.

“I just…I couldn’t stand the idea of him being hurt again.” Tears welled in her eyes. She closed them, begged the tears to leave her, and then took a deep breath. “I love him, sir, and I refuse to admit otherwise. It may have clouded my judgment, but I don’t care.”

Despite their disagreements, Mustang didn’t argue. “Thank you for your dedication to save another officer.”

Rebecca blinked. “You’re not….angry? Frustrated? Tired? You could have died trying to save me…”

“And so could you have,” Mustang finished. “You’re a much better person than I gave you credit for.”

From her times working with him, she knew that compliments were far and few between, but she also could somewhat recognize the soft smile that he was giving her. She thought that Riza would understand its meaning completely – that she would be able to decipher it on the spot – but Rebecca wasn’t as skilled, and she was left t to believing that Mustang was being kinder to her than he normally was. Mustang did not like to admit weakness and certainly not kindness, but in this respect, he was willing.

“You’ll take care of him when I can’t?” Mustang asked teasingly, though Rebecca could detect a hint of seriousness in his voice. The man truly did worry over his subordinates. And he was trying to rise to the top. What an idiot.

Rebecca did what she could do: she smiled. “Always.”

And she would, forever and a day. Jean liked to pretend that he was protective towards her, but she would fight with her entire life for him, even if it meant fighting against him.


End file.
